Cheap Girl Laundry Detergent

I am cheap. It's not so much that I am cheap; it’s more that I don’t have a lot of spare money. I would like to have more spare money, so I have learned to be cheap. It’s a circular thinking kind of thing.

Anywho, I have tried in the past to buy cheap cleaning products. First, I tried to avoid cleaning altogether, but that proved unwise. I bought the cheap stuff, and learned I had to use more, driving up the cost per ounce. In my world it’s all about the cost of unit per measure….blah, blah, blah. [Leave your work at the office, Brigid.]

OK, so, cheap laundry detergent sucks. More costly detergent does not suck, but it does cost more. Dilemma. So, being a fan of Etsy, and homemade stuff, I bought some homemade laundry detergent on Etsy. Makes sense. I tried it, I liked it. I decided that I would start making my own detergent. That was 2 years ago. I tend to procrastinate just a little.

So, this past weekend I finally got my shit together and bought the necessary ingredients to make a batch of laundry detergent. My source for the recipe was, of course, the internets. The internets never lie. Never. But being me, I found it necessary to tinker with the standard ingredients, so I can officially call this my very own Cheap Girl Laundry Detergent. I was just going to call it Cheap Girl Detergent, but that’s a whole other story… I happily and humbly would like to share my concoction with the world, or at least my tiny little corner of it. 

OK, so get $15 from someone you won’t have to pay back. Go to the grocery store, any one will do. Pick one that sells good donuts in case you get hungry. Eat it while you shop. I am full of money saving tips – and donuts. Buy the following items: Borax, Washing Soda, Oxy-Clean, or other Oxy-_____ powder of your choice, and Ivory bar soap multi-pack. You can buy other soap, but the purer the better and Ivory is dirt cheap. The Borax and washing soda should be in the laundry aisle, as they are laundry boosters. The Ivory soap is in the soap aisle. I will not tell you where the donuts are. Now go home and get out the food processor, and a 1 cup measuring device. Now, here’s the not very hard part:

Cheap Girl Laundry Detergent

2 cups Borax

2 cups Washing Soda

½ cup Oxy-Whatever

 2 bars of Ivory soap

Shred the Ivory with a cheese grater/shredder thing. This stuff shreds easier than good cheddar! I work in batches {Batches? We don’t need no stinking batches!} Shred one bar and put it in the food processor, add 1 cup of the borax, 1 cup of washing soda and ¼ cup oxy-whatever. Put a damp tea towel over the processor; the powder is fine and you really don’t want to breathe it in. Run the processor until everything is pulverized and you can’t see any large pieces of soap. Repeat with the remaining ingredients. Store in a glass jar.

If you do not have a food processor, you can use the finest grating side of the grater thing, or just buy some Tide and forget about it.

A little extra thing I add is essential oil. I prefer lavender. But you can use whatever floats your boat. Just add about 10 drops per batch as you whiz it.

Here is the kicker. You will only need about 2 Tablespoons per load. 2 TABLESPOONS! TWO! I know, right?!? You will want to use more because this does not seem possible. You will be tricked by the lack of suds. Suds do not clean your clothes. Suds float on top and look pretty, but don’t really do anything. Kinda like James Franco hosting the Oscars.

The Cost Breakdown:

(prices based on my store. Yours may vary. Duh.)

Borax: .04 per oz

Washing Soda: .06 per oz

Oxy-Whatever: .10 per oz

Ivory: .41 per bar

Essential Oil: 4.50 per oz. I don’t care how much it is per drop. It’s a DROP, people!

Total cost: $2.82 per batch or about .13 per load. THIRTEEN CENTS per load. I know, right?!? You can thank me later…with cash